Professor Of Magneto Studies
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Professor Of Magneto Studies
30, male, cishet, gamer (anti-gg), Jewish.
Superman And The Damage Done
31/03/16 16:33
Superman And The Damage Done:
Fuck you Zach Snyder. I saw this movie. It was an awful mess, and the only thing I can say for it is that it made me go back and read some of the better Superman stories of the past 80 years in the comics and to rewatch the animated series and the good set of movies, to get the bad taste out of my mouth.
Also: good on the author for recognizing the character’s origins properly.
Incidentally I think “intra double reed issues” for jokingly complaining about...
23/03/16 16:04
Incidentally I think “intra double reed issues” for jokingly complaining about @shiraglassman writing about oboists when I’m a bassoonist is my favorite tag I’ve ever made up
shiraglassman: janothar: jewish-privilege: shiraglassman: “Sh...
23/03/16 16:00
shiraglassman:
janothar:
jewish-privilege:
shiraglassman:
“Shira Glassman packs so much detail to these characters in so few words and paints an intimate picture of two Jewish oboists who have both lost someone they love to cancer.” – @lloydreads‘ review
Presenting Lioness in Blue, my new Jewish contemporary romance novelette from @torquerepress. Picture by @discordanddarkness.
First Oboe Dan Cohen may be twice her age, but Second Oboe Lauren Stern isn’t about to let that stand in her way. She’s been fantasizing about the man beside her in the symphony, and this might just be the concert where she finally finds out what it’s like to feel the scruff of his salt-and-pepper goatee against her skin.
If people are going to make intrusive comments about how much older he is, they can get over themselves. Not only is Dan an expert lover who knows how to take care of a woman, but he doesn’t want her to be gentle–quite the opposite!
I wanted to write something like this after the hullaballoo last summer when romance novels kept wanting to pair Jewish women with… well, let’s not go there. In my little bookling they’re both Jewish, because our men are sexy too, dammit.
This one may be of special interest to fans of my Rivka/Isaac, although fair warning that it’s significantly more explicit than the Mangoverse books and even goes into some mild femdom. (Also, the heroine, Lauren, is bisexual, if anyone was looking for more bi characters in their m/f reading.)
YES GOOD.
Taking a brief break from my tumblr hiatus to comment. I’m generally a fan of @shiraglassman‘s, but in this work, she’s gone too far. This is unacceptable and a deep betrayal of all that’s good in the world.
An OBOIST as a protagonist!?! BAH! Worse, a pair of them!
# INTRA-DOUBLE-REED ISSUES # BASSOON IS THE CORRECT CHOICE SERIOUSLY # DEFINITELY PICKING THIS UP # TONGUE-IN-CHEEK # ALSO THE IDEA OF HAVING TWO OBOISTS IN THE SAME PLACE IS FAIRLY HARD TO BELIEVE
omg, you play bassoon? Did I know that? I love bassoon! Lauren doubles on English horn in the story; does that make it a threesome?
I’ve mentioned it but not prominently. Wasn’t important until I found out that you are targeting the girl who sat next to me in high school orchestra really specifically (she literally once complained in an innuendo laden conversation, of the lack of “Jewish double reed smut” for her consumption.)
Of course, by making them both oboes, you cut off a world of innuendo that we mined rather than listen to our conductor.
jewish-privilege: shiraglassman: “Shira Glassman packs so much...
23/03/16 09:43
jewish-privilege:
shiraglassman:
“Shira Glassman packs so much detail to these characters in so few words and paints an intimate picture of two Jewish oboists who have both lost someone they love to cancer.” – @lloydreads‘ review
Presenting Lioness in Blue, my new Jewish contemporary romance novelette from @torquerepress. Picture by @discordanddarkness.
First Oboe Dan Cohen may be twice her age, but Second Oboe Lauren Stern isn’t about to let that stand in her way. She’s been fantasizing about the man beside her in the symphony, and this might just be the concert where she finally finds out what it’s like to feel the scruff of his salt-and-pepper goatee against her skin.
If people are going to make intrusive comments about how much older he is, they can get over themselves. Not only is Dan an expert lover who knows how to take care of a woman, but he doesn’t want her to be gentle–quite the opposite!
I wanted to write something like this after the hullaballoo last summer when romance novels kept wanting to pair Jewish women with… well, let’s not go there. In my little bookling they’re both Jewish, because our men are sexy too, dammit.
This one may be of special interest to fans of my Rivka/Isaac, although fair warning that it’s significantly more explicit than the Mangoverse books and even goes into some mild femdom. (Also, the heroine, Lauren, is bisexual, if anyone was looking for more bi characters in their m/f reading.)
YES GOOD.
Taking a brief break from my tumblr hiatus to comment. I’m generally a fan of @shiraglassman‘s, but in this work, she’s gone too far. This is unacceptable and a deep betrayal of all that’s good in the world.
An OBOIST as a protagonist!?! BAH! Worse, a pair of them!
Cat Cat Cat! Purim is coming up soon. Can you tell us the Purim story, with swears?
22/03/16 23:26
oh my god, is this my thing now. OKAY, fair warning, this one’s gonna be… real long.
OKAY SO LIKE. way back in the waybackwhen, we’ve been kicked outta judea for the… first? second? first time. (we got kicked out of israel/judea a… few times. we got kicked out of spain twice, we got kicked out of the netherlands three times, we got kicked out of france and bavaria five times, we got kicked out of mainz in particular four times
god bless the gentiles honestly they’re god’s appointed travel agency. ANYWAY)
so we’re in persia. and we’re under the rule of king ahasueare– king ahahasay– king ahasueueueueue-
KING AHASARARUARAUAEREASS, who is having a Party
and king ahdahahaah has a wife, vashti, who is among the hottest women in the whole country. like. picture michelle obama crossed with robin wright. sort of like a 40-year-old raven symone. are you picturing it? good. king ashashsasd isn’t. cos she’s hiding in her room
king aheshhh, who is quite drunk at this point, is like VASHTI. VASHTI I WANT YOU TO COME OUT AND HAVE FUN AT THIS PARTY. I WANT YOU TO COME OUT AND HAVE FUN AND WEAR YOUR CROWN
vashti is like ughhhhhhhh FINE
king aaaaaaahhahaha is like …ONLY YOUR CROWN
vashti is like …not fine
so, because this is ancient persia and men are terrible, vashti is promptly divorced and king aughjesus decides to hold the Country’s Biggest Beauty Contest, where the Most Beautiful Women in Persia will all audition to be his wife!!! (I TOLD YOU MEN WERE TERRIBLE)
BUT. WAITAMINUTE. PAN OVER PERSIA AND IN ON
haman, a smug motherfucker with a three-pointed hat, size 7, and a zero-pointed ego, size 300; a councillor for the king. haman, because ancient persia does not have any kind of government that could reasonably be labeled “sensible”, writes and institutes a law that says Everyone In This Country Must Bow Down To Me When I Pass, because Reasons.
BUT, guess who does not bow down to people, you guessed right, it is the jews. chiefly and specifically in this instance an equally smug (but much less powerful) motherfucker by the name of mordecai.
haman passes mordecai, is like “you don’t look like you’re bowing??? that is not a bow shape??? exPLAIN.” mordecai is like “r u god? i don’t think yr god? i think god would have better taste in hats? so”
and haman is IRKED but THEN mordecai overhears two courtiers having a conversation that goes something along the lines of:
COURTIER ONE: i am going to kill the king
COURTIER TWO: wow, what a coincidence, so am i
COURTIER ONE: lots of killing. like. a bunch. so much of the being killed is going to happen
COURTIER TWO: great plan.
and mordecai is like, well. that’s not good, but also… that’s good… because i’m gonna go and. tell the king. that’s a thing i’m gonna do, right now, and the king is like SHIT!!! THAT SOUNDS IMPORTANT, SOMEONE GO KILL THOSE DUDES, and those dudes are gone killed
and the king goes to haman, our motherfucker with the terrible hat, and goes “theoretically, my bro. if there was a dude so fab you had to honor him, like, the most. how would you do that thing” and haman’s like “ah! this theoretical person! definitely not me! i would, theoretically, give that person a fuckton of money and also fancy clothes and also tell the kingdom that they were the best in persia. that is what i would do for mys- for them.”
“GREAT” says the king. “OKAY GO AND DO THAT FOR MORDECAI SG? SG”
…anyway haman is plotting like a motherfucker, which he is, and mordecai is mad afraid, but there is no time for plotting or fear because guess what it’s beauty contest time, motherfuckers
and guess who mordecai has enrolled in it, it is HIS NIECE, ESTHER
esther is hotter than vashti, but, like, in a chiller way. in my head, samira wiley. (in my head, esther is a lesbian. in my head esther is my girlfriend. right. ANYWAY)
king ahooleyhoo immediately picks esther, as she is the Most Beautiful Woman In A Ten Thousand Mile Radius (as are all jews OBVIOUSLY), and she is taken up into the palace to be the most beautiful and powerful woman in a ten thousand mile radius. and she is also mad smart, so
what does a mad smart woman do? a mad smart woman does not tell her new husband, the king of the persians, that she is jewish. that is a smart move.
meanwhile haman has finished his Plotting and has resulted in this: he is going to get revenge against mordecai by Killing All The Jews.
“oh yeah,” say the jews. “real original.”
meanwhile esther is wandering around in king asdfasdfasdf’s palace, where there is literally no kosher food, because the only people who could order kosher food prepares specially would be a) the king (who does not know she is a jew) or b) haman (who is a motherfucker).
so esther’s eating seeds and nuts and gettin increasingly hungry and increasingly irritated and eventually she’s like, HUSBAND DARLING, CAN I SEE MY UNCLE; the king says yes, upon which mordecai is like ESTHER? ESTHER HAMAN IS PLOTTING TO KILL US ALL. ALL THE JEWS. DO SOMETHING
esther is like, i have a solution to this. the solution involves getting naked.
so she holds a banquet for her husband the king, and at the banquet is like WOW… GOSH… I’M VERY NAKED… AT THIS BEAUTIFUL BANQUET WITH KEGSTANDS. WOULD YOU LIKE TO HAVE A LOT OF SEX AND GOOD FOOD, DARLING HUSBAND
darling husband is like fuck yes, gets drunk as shit. esther is like okay. yes. now that you are full of good food and heavily sexed up, can i have a thing. can that thing be that you vow to protect me from anyone who wants to kill me
…sure, says king aheshehaara. i mean. as things to ask for go. that went
great, says esther. havin a banquet tomorrow night too. be there or be square
king ajldfghfdghk;dfghufgsdoi has no desire to be square, so he comes to the banquet tomorrow night to find that esther has also invited… HAMAN? “well,” he thinks to himself, “i have never pictured this threesome before, but y’know what, life is a rich tapestry”
but they are eating? and not sexing? and eventually esther goes “ah okay remember that promise to protect me from anyone who would kill me. what if i told you. i knew a dude who would do that thing”
“I WOULD SUPER KILL THAT DUDE,” says king ahassafrass, who has exactly 2 problem-solving methods
“great,” says esther. “what if i told you… THIS IS THE DUDE”
!!!!! says king ahahahahhfewsse.
!!!!!! says esther.
¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡ says haman.
so esther REVEALS SHE IS A JEW! and that haman is implicitly PLOTTING TO KILL HER! (“i didn’t– I WAS NOT AWARE,” says haman. “WELL MAYBE YOU SHOULD HAVE FUCKING CHECKED THEN,” says esther. “OR WAIT. ANOTHER SOLUTION. IT’S DAWNING ON ME. AN EPIPHANY. YOU COULD TRY NOT KILLING PEOPLE”)
and the king has haman hanged on the gallows on which he was planning to hang all the jews. and guess who is instituted as councillor in his place, that’s right, IT’S MORDECAI
who declares that the anniversary of Us Not Being Dead shall be celebrated every year forever with dressing up in costumes, and also that we shall eat little cookies shaped like haman’s hat, and also that whenever haman’s name is mentioned we will yell like hell
hey, says king aharseadslic. could, theoretically, this holiday include getting so drunk you can’t tell the difference between mordecai and haman
…i guess so, says mordecai
right, says king ahasuerus. carry on, haman
AND SO WE CONTINUE THESE TRADITIONS OF EATING COOKIES, WEARING COSTUMES, AND GETTIN SLOSHED, even SCATTERED ACROSS THE WORLD; and yes, i will be spending my thursday gettin drunk on my way to rome
so pour yrself a whiskey, put on a fake beard, and raise a glass: it’s purim 5776, and guess what, motherfuckers?
you still ain’t managed to kill us yet.
lord-kitschener: borderlinecat: shamblingshitpickle: termanal-...
18/03/16 23:40
lord-kitschener:
borderlinecat:
shamblingshitpickle:
termanal-velocity:
pax-britannica:
kweyolempress:
ifihadanocelot:
termanal-velocity:
I don’t deserve this.
OMG me too! I got 38%
24%. Excellent
11% - PATRICIAN. You are moral, educated, non-degenerate, and impervious to all forms of modernism, relativism, cuckery, and leftist trickery.
never change /pol/
58% get rekd
i’m so proud of myself rn
A A Y L M A O
A
A
Y
L
M
A
O
luxy-lightning: thestrangedaysofkrei: knitmeapony: 28weekslate...
18/03/16 19:20
luxy-lightning:
thestrangedaysofkrei:
knitmeapony:
28weekslaterhater:
knitmeapony:
ravenclawslibrary:
smurflewis:
DONT ASK ME THIS, THIS IS HOW THE TROJAN WAR STARTED, I DONT WANT THIS MAN
Right away, Aphrodite popped into my head.
And then I’m just like, “DAMMIT, DID YOU LEARN NOTHING FROM PARIS? YOU ARE AN EMBARRASSMENT, AND NOW ALL THE TROJANS ARE DEAD. I HOPE YOU’RE HAPPY.”
If you are ever actually in this situation, pro-tip: name Persephone. Half the goddesses will be too surprised to smite you immediately and while Hades won’t do you any favors he may at least high-five you while your on your way down.
Another tip: name Mesperyian. Not only will you shock everyone, including her (since Aphrodite was a jealous ho who burnt half her face off), but you’ll win Hades’ favour. As his most beloved daughter, anything that praises her will make you a kind human to her, an okay human to him, and a genuinely good person to anyone else.
I heartily endorse this alternative answer.
I love how all of this advice leads to “please Hades at all costs.”
image
smallswingshoes: fromchaostocosmos: bikiniarmorbattledamage: J...
17/03/16 23:40
smallswingshoes:
fromchaostocosmos:
bikiniarmorbattledamage:
Justice League vs. Teen Titans, a sequel to Justice League War and Justice League Throne of Atlantis is coming up in March and… One of those things is not like the others!
Poor Starfire, it looks like after getting a relatively* nice costume, she was approached by a rabid Creepy Marketing Guy with a pair of scissors.
Boob window’s absurdity goes without saying, but… are hip-holes becoming a thing in superhero fashion? Is that some bizarre way of compensating for belly skin that isn’t exposed?
It’s a shame, considering how cool Raven looks, and that this is the continuity that gave us Wonder Woman in an outfit that won’t slide off her boobs.
image
Of course, all of those female designs could look less painted-on, especially less boobsock-y, but I guess superheroine costumes always ask to set standards bar rather low.
~Ozzie
*How short is that skirt anyway? I swear it ends at the level her crotch should be. Not a recommended length for someone who can fly.
more about superheroes on BABD
i’m confused is the character in the purple outfit a teenager? because if yes then why are they sexualizing a child?
I’m not sure if she is in this iteration of her character cuz I haven’t read anything about it, but she is on the team called Teen Titans. So…. she’s probably a teenager. :/ Starfire is often totally butchered as a character as of late, despite being most well-known by people for the cartoon Teen Titans where she was actually well-written and not terribly dressed. (Not a great outfit, mind you, but nowhere near this type of awfulness.)
nakedangrydoll: frappuccinhoes: kyleehenke: ihaveamicrophone: ...
17/03/16 19:20
nakedangrydoll:
frappuccinhoes:
kyleehenke:
ihaveamicrophone:
darkoverord:
dalehan:
pwnypony:
image
GUYS. GUYS.
GUYS.
HOLY FUCK.
GOOD GUY ADOBE releases the ENTIRE CS2 SUITE. FOR FREE.
image
That means free access to Photoshop CS2 - and that already has most of what you could ask for, really.
All you have to do is create a FREE ADOBE ID.
I am not sure about commercial use, but MAN. FUCKIN’ SWEET DUDE
Reblogging for the greater good.
I’m unlikely to pick it up as I honestly never use PS anymore, but here everyone who follows me. Free stuff.
oh wow this is perfect i was just lamenting that i’d have to buy creative suite for my new laptop WELP
Signal boost for any of my followers who need art programs!
The cs2 programs date back only a few years, and still have much of the functionality of today’s more modern ones. The differences between most of the versions are little more than slight modifications or additions of minor features, and UI changes. Go for it guys!!
Also, in case the page is down, here are the download links + serials.
officersnowball
FREE ART PROGRAMS!
The Worst Taboo In Urban Fantasy
16/03/16 23:40
The Worst Taboo In Urban Fantasy:
points-of-foci:
harriedwizard:
priscellie:
wonderandwild:
unseelieaccords:
Urban fantasy often seems more open-minded than other fantasy subgenres. You can have more sex, more swearing, loads of blasphemy, and tons of gonzo violence. So what can’t you have in urban fantasy books? Apparently, an older female protagonist, as author Harry Connolly found out.
People looking for some Urban Fantasy with a difference, I just found out about a book called “A Key, An Egg, An Unfortunate Remark”by Harry Connolly, featuring an elderly female protagonist.
There were mysteries with older protagonists, definitely, but urban fantasies? No one knew of any. What’s more, the oldest female protagonists in fantasy anyone was able to come up with in that thread was 35.****If I wanted to read this book, I’d have to write it.
Available from Amazon State side and UK side. Paper back and Kindle. Probably other places too.
Here’s the blurb in case anyone wants to know why this is at the top of my summer reads list, with sentences bolded for emphasis:
After years of waging a secret war against the supernatural, Marley Jacobs put away her wooden stakes and silver bullets, then turned her back on violence. She declared Seattle, her city, a safe zone for everyone, living and undead. There would be no more preternatural murder under her watch.
But waging peace can make as many enemies as waging war, and when Marley’s nephew turns up dead in circumstances suspiciously like a vampire feeding, she must look into it. Is there a new arrival in town? Is someone trying to destroy her fragile truce? Or was her nephew murdered because he was, quite frankly, a complete tool?
As Marley investigates her nephew’s death, she discovers he had been secretly dabbling in the supernatural himself. What, exactly, had he been up to, and who had he been doing it with? More importantly, does it threaten the peace she has worked so hard to create? (Spoiler: yeah, it absolutely does.)
Almost all my novel-reading is in audio format, but I make an exception for Harry Connolly. So excited to read this!
Let me note that Harry Connolly is a freaking great writer. I’m going to read this. You should think about doing that, too.
Dresden
Downloading a sample now, and for people who want it on Amazon products it’s only 3.99 through Kindle! (As of August 14, 2015)
Are Balkan Jews considered Ashkenazi?
16/03/16 19:20
That would be a good question to ask a Balkan Jew! Questions of identity and community affiliation really depend on the individual. In general I can say that the majority of Jewish communities in the Balkans were Sephardi (speaking Judeo-Spanish/Judezmo) although there were also Romaniotes (speaking Yevanic/Judeo-Greek) in Greece, Turkey, etc. and some Ashkenazi communities as well.
I haven’t watched it but I found this lecture by Eliezer Papo online which looks good!
rabinovvitz: dysphorichallucinations: rabinovvitz: chayasaturday: rabinovvitz: I just...
15/03/16 23:40
rabinovvitz:
dysphorichallucinations:
rabinovvitz:
chayasaturday:
rabinovvitz:
I just downloaded a ton of klezmer music ^_^
any recommendations?
Yes!! So first I would start off by saying that Daniel Kahn & the Painted Bird is pretty much always and forever my favorite band (klezmer, punk, or otherwise). Anything by them is great.
I just bought De Profoundis by The Cracow Klezmer Band, which is pretty trippy judging by what I’ve listened to so far, almost dream-scapey. Serce - Heart by Janusz Prusinowski Trio is similarly eclectic, and according to their bio on their label’s website, they especially riff on the central Asian trance music influence already found in klezmer (ikr??).
Not gonna lie these are mostly from the same label, namely because it’s hard to find ones way around the klezmer section of iTunes without listening to 150 renditions of Hava Negilah prepared specially for your 13-year-old nephew’s Bar Mitzvah. Anyways.
I bought the album Spiewam Życie by Edyta Geppert & Kroke because I fell in love with her voice, and I am always here for Jewish women. I also bought True Speech - Szczera Mowa by Čači Vorba because honestly it’s the sickest violin I’ve heard in a long time.
If you’re interested in just checking out songs though, I’d listen to these:
Yesterday is Buried by Daniel Kahn and the Painted Bird – ridiculously angry, spitting Yiddish music with the catchiest g-ddamn Violin riff
Wiwat Halina! by Janusz Prusinowski Trio – fast, fun, rhythmically complicated dance music
Nothing Left by Brown Bird – OK, they’re not even Jewish, which definitely makes a lot of their music cultural appropriation or something (I reeeeeally don’t like that they use the g-slur to refer to… both Romani and Jews?? on their website). But this is an amazing song, and they’re def my problematic fave
Original Klezmer by Daniel Hoffman – This guy isn’t from any particular record label, he actually seems to be mostly a professional violinist embarking on a music history project. But g-ddamn. This song.
Balkan Dance by The Cracow Klezmer Band – A lil jarring, a lil creepy, a lil fun. Raises the hairs on the back of my neck while simultaneously making me want to move at the same time.
Meshuge by Edyta Geppert & Kroke – Her voice is astounding, I don’t know what else to say. Smoky and dark and rum-like sometimes. There’s a little bit of anxiety in this song, but it’s mostly fun. Fun and sometimes fear.
Doina by Leon Ahl – This is a song that, judging by the recording quality, is fairly old. It’s dream-like but in a fun, pleasant way, and is almost faerie-like in my eyes. I found it on the 8tracks playlist Klezmer Dream by Dybbuk.
OK I think I might create a YouTube playlist with these later, but here you go, there’s the end of my mile-long rant. Hopefully you like some of these! Let me know what you think?
Parasites by Daniel Kahn is an all time fave
IKR!!!! <3 <3 <3 I <3 Daniel Kahn. How’d you find out about him? I think I found him via some website returnofthejudai linked to once, when I made sent them an ask asking for klezmer recs
Why Hitler Wasn't An Atheist: On the Development of Hitler's Anti-Christian Views
15/03/16 19:20
Why Hitler Wasn't An Atheist: On the Development of Hitler's Anti-Christian Views:
academicatheism:
I think this analysis is too good not to rewrite without the back and forth with an odious blogger and atheist hater. Hope you guys enjoy this version.
Ladino/Judezmo resources!
14/03/16 23:40
juanepstein:
Because everyone needs this! And they’re free!
🔯 🔯 🔯 🔯 🔯 🔯 🔯 Lessons and learning the language🔯 🔯 🔯 🔯 🔯 🔯 🔯 🔯
This website provides an overview, grammar, vocab, Sephardic history, poems and texts.
This website provides more history and has a Ladino only chat for those interested
Ladinotype: a downloadable program to type in rashi script, solitreo and an actual hand writen script online. It’s pretty cool
LISYONES DE DJUDEO-ESPANYOL!!!! I LOVE THESE LESSONS, VERY EASY TO USE!
Memrise has a lesson of it
Ladino alphabet
🔯 🔯 🔯 🔯 🔯 🔯 🔯 🔯 General Info on language🔯 🔯 🔯 🔯 🔯 🔯 🔯 🔯 🔯 🔯 🔯
General ladino info and some informative links
Article thing about the future of Ladino
Professor David Bunis (1) (2) (He teaches it at the University of Washington)
🔯 🔯 🔯 🔯 🔯 🔯 🔯 🔯Judezmo music🔯 🔯 🔯 🔯 🔯 🔯 🔯 🔯 🔯 🔯 🔯 🔯 🔯 🔯 🔯 🔯
Yasmin Levy’s youtube channel. She is FIREEEEEEEEEEEEE (AND SINGS IN SPANISH, JUDEZMO, HEBREW, TURKISH AND I THINK OTHER LANGUAGES)
*******Listen to ADIO KERIDA and La alegria BY HER UGH G-D!!!!!!********
Sarah aroeste’s youtube channel…I don’t like her use of the word “G***y” to describe her song ‘chika morena’…slurs are never ok! so fuck that shit but she sing in all ladino so I’m putting her up.
My favorite version of the traditional lullaby “Durme durme” It’s beautiful, I know it by heart!
blahhaus: Summoned
14/03/16 19:20
blahhaus:
Summoned
bibliophile20: prokopetz: Nobody’s going to deny that, as it’s conventionally depicted,...
12/03/16 00:40
bibliophile20:
prokopetz:
Nobody’s going to deny that, as it’s conventionally depicted, Middle-Earth - the setting of The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings - is awfully monochrome. In art, basically everybody is drawn as white, and all major depictions in film have used white actors.
When this state of affairs is questioned, the defences typically revolve around “accuracy”, which can mean one of two things: fidelity to the source material, and the internal consistency of the setting. Being concerned primarily with languages and mythology, Tolkien left few clear descriptions of what the peoples of Middle-Earth actually look like, so in this case, arguments in favour of the status quo more often rest on setting consistency.
Of course, we need hold ourselves neither to fidelity nor to consistency - the author’s dead, and we can do what we want. However, what if I told you that there’s a reasonable argument to be made from that very standpoint of setting consistency that Aragorn - the one character you’d most expect to be depicted as a white dude - really ought to be portrayed as Middle Eastern and/or North African?
First, consider the framing device of Tolkien’s work. The central conceit of The Lord of the Rings - one retroactively extended to The Hobbit, and thereafter to later works - is that Tolkien himself is not the story’s author, but a mere translator of writings left behind by Bilbo, Frodo and other major characters. Similarly, Middle-Earth itself is positioned not as a fictional realm, but as the actual prehistory of our own world. As such, the languages and mythologies that Tolkien created were intended not merely to resemble their modern counterparts, but to stand as plausible ancestors for them.
Now, Aragorn is the king of a tribe or nation of people called the Dúnedain. Let’s take a closer look at them in the context of that prehistoric connection.
If the Dúnedain were meant to be the forebears of Western Europeans, we’d expect their language, Adûnaic, to exhibit signs of Germanic (or possibly Italic) derivation - but that’s not what we actually see. Instead, both the phonology and the general word-structure of Adûnaic seem to be of primarily Semitic derivation, i.e., the predominant language family throughout the Middle East and much of North Africa. Indeed, while relatively little Adûnaic vocabulary is present in Tolkien’s extant writings, some of the words we do know seem to be borrowed directly from classical Hebrew - a curious choice if the “men of the West” were intended to represent the ancestors of the Germanic peoples.
Additionally, the Dúnedain are descended from the survivors of the lost island of Númenor, which Tolkien had intended as an explicit analogue of Atlantis. Alone, this doesn’t give us much to go on - unless one happens to know that, in the legendarium from which Tolkien drew his inspirations, the Kingdoms of Egypt were alleged to be remnant colonies of Atlantis. Indeed, this connection is explicitly reflected in the strong Egyptian influence upon Tolkien’s descriptions of Númenorean funereal customs. We thus have both linguistic and cultural/mythological ties linking the survivors of Númenor to North Africa.
Now, I’m not going to claim that Tolkien actually envisioned the Dúnedain as North African; he was almost certainly picturing white folks. However, when modern fans argue that Aragorn and his kin must be depicted as white as a matter of setting consistency, rather than one of mere authorial preference, strong arguments can be made that this need not be the case; i.e., that depicting the Dúnedain in a manner that would be racialised as Middle Eastern and/or North African by modern standards is, in fact, entirely consistent with the source material, ethnolinguistically speaking. Furthermore, whether they agreed with these arguments or not, any serious Tolkien scholar would at least be aware of them.
In other words, if some dude claims that obviously everyone in Tolkien is white and acts like the very notion of depicting them otherwise is some outlandish novelty, you’ve got yourself a fake geek boy.
(As an aside, if we turn our consideration to the Easterlings, the human allies of Sauron who have traditionally been depicted in art as Middle Eastern on no stronger evidence than the fact that they’re baddies from the East, a similar process of analysis suggests that they’d more reasonably be racialised as Slavic in modern terms. Taken together with the preceding discussion, an argument can be made that not only is the conventional racialisation of Tolkien’s human nations in contemporary art unsupported by the source material, we may well have it precisely backwards!)
@lethriloth
avan-garda: apocalyptic-genderpunk: Star Wars is particularly good at tailoring its villains to...
11/03/16 20:20
avan-garda:
apocalyptic-genderpunk:
Star Wars is particularly good at tailoring its villains to what people of the time fear most: in the late 70’s/early 80’s, it was faceless, militaristic dictators, in the late 90’s/early 00’s it was shady politicians who seize power questionably and then immediately start wars with murky ulterior motives, and in the 10’s, it’s twentysomething white men with no self-control.
OH SHIT
reddragdiva: transientnatcromancer: brainstatic: weakenedupdate: afloweroutofstone: A...
11/03/16 00:40
reddragdiva:
transientnatcromancer:
brainstatic:
weakenedupdate:
afloweroutofstone:
A competition between the political compass and the horseshoe theory for which is the worst model of political ideology
a tie. they’re exactly the same.
Praise the political fish scale.
most subtle loss.jpg you’ll see this week
thegeekyblonde: lunalab: what would it mean to @ god? something to consider. not even prayer, but...
10/03/16 20:20
thegeekyblonde:
lunalab:
what would it mean to @ god? something to consider. not even prayer, but @ing him. calling him out. are you there god, its me and i have receipts.
judaism
s0meimagination: skippercifer: its-sixteen-miles: It’s time...
10/03/16 00:40
s0meimagination:
skippercifer:
its-sixteen-miles:
It’s time to try defying gravity-
-Like a shooting star, I can go the distance-
-Kiss me goodbye I’m defying gravity-
-I will search the world, I will face its harms-
-I’m Flying high, I’m defying gravity-
-I don’t care how far, I can go the distance-
-And you won’t bring me down! And you won’t bring me down-
-‘Til I find my hero’s welcome right where I-
-And you won’t bring me…
I forgot I had saved this- WoW what a good.
i’m not okay this is too perfect
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